0350Hrs

Its almost 4AM in the morning, as i sit infront of the com, i felt listless, pointless, lost, disorientated, sour, down, sad.. watever..

should be slping by now but i just cant.. its already the 2nd day of the year.. almost a month already.. but i ... i cant put it down..

was feeling lonely while driving.. felt like driving and driving till i drop dead. Or maybe let me slp and die of peacefully. everything i see, i say, i do, i smell, i go reminds me of every little single thing about her.. things that we saw, we said, we did, we tasted, we went..

till now then i realise how i shld have cherished those times we have been together.. how i would let her follow wherever i went. Never to leave her out of my sight when i'm with her. Do meaningful things together.

Now that i lost her. Every moment i wish she would be by my side again. Every time i go home i will be able to see her. Every time my phone ring, its her. And when ever i'm driving, the one sitting next to me holding hands is her. Singing our fav songs in the car together. Watching Discovery channels, National Geographic, Animal Planet together in my couch.

giving her a good nite kiss everynite and a morning kiss whenever i wake up. Able to hug her to slp under the blanket, hold on to her hand when we go out, make funny faces to cheer her up, give her surprises to see her smile, buy little things for her to brighten up her inner self.

letting her slp the soft pillow whereas the hard pillow for me, talk to her more often, read mag together in each others' arms, play her game while sitting on my lap, kissing her on the forehead, cheeks, nose, lips, chin, hand, holding on to her hands tight and firm, showing other guys who her bf is, showing other girls who my gf is, shelther her from sun, rain and storm. Give her warmth when she needed it, give up my jacket for her when she's cold. Carry her up, sayang her, check if she is injured when she falls, bring her to the doc whenever she's sick. Cook her maggi mee when she's hungry.

buy milk for her whenever she's coming over or i'm goin over. Protect her from any harm, danger, guys, threatens, fatigue. Learn to give her good massage when she's tired. Pamper her when she gets angry and talk to her nicely later to clear things up.

sighx

there are so much that it cant finish..
my confession cannot be finished..
i have never loved a girl this far, this much, this clear, this hard, this sure, this full
and i never will again.

its 410AM on the 2nd day of yr 2007..
it will be the 2nd day of the yr i live my life without her by my side..
(to be continued)